Fear(less)

In which I think about fear and fearlessness. I think it takes a hell of a lot more courage not to be a Pentecostal than it takes to be one. But dammit, the embarrassing shit you have to do as part of your Pentecostal duties makes that a fucking hard statement to make. I am an agnostic and I haven’t always been that way. These are two facts that are well-known to anyone who has read the blog for a while. I was a Pentecostal for the longest time and this, friends, is why I rail against it so much. One of the most striking things that came to mind regarding Pentecostalism to me is the emphasis on instilling and maintaining fear, while preaching all the time on how to get rid of it. There is a big thing about being afraid in Pentecostalism. One is supposed to both fear persecution and look forward to it, in Pente Land. Change is especially to be feared, as a sign of the End Times, as the world changes around them. In this case, they really are being left behind, though not by a wrathful God, but by the rest of the world.

Anyway, when you grow up as an Evangelical of any stripe, you might feel alone. In that case, it takes a hell of a lot more courage to face the world despite being told to be afraid of it, rather than face the world with the false bravery that such a doctrine offers. It takes more courage to make those first steps out into the world that you are told to be afraid of, than it is to stay in a bubble.

But dammit, some of the embarrassing shit I remember from being a Pentecostal makes it fucking hard to say that with any confidence. If only because it takes some kind of something to roll around on the floor crying at a Sunday service, march around a city praying and singing, and all the other trappings of a Pentecostal church service or special revival service only seen on Youtube videos by those who aren’t Pentecostal, past or present. It might just be bravado combined with peer pressure, but damn. That is some potent bravado.

So yeah. My little rant on fear and fearlessness.